ivyshortcake

Diary

2007-03-14T09:10:49Z

Saturday 1^st March 2005

Dear diary....*big grin*

That was the sweetest thing ever.
Brendon picked me up at eight and we went to dinner.
Ok the boy said that I would remember this. I did. Here's how it went down:

"Ivy, that guy's here!"
That guy was also known as Brendon.
I wasn’t dressed properly...shit yeah habit of never being on time.
I pulled on a skirt and readjusted my shirt before running downstairs.
I came downstairs in time to catch my brothers' talking to Brendon.

"Let's go over the points ok?" said Eric staring down at Brendon
Sam nodded.
"Number one: hurt my baby sister. And we'll hurt you," said Sam
"And we're creative. I mean...I have cars. You have limbs. We quarter you. Old school."
"Or...we feed him to Ruby." Ruby was my dog. I saw Brendon gulp. Ruby was sitting on the couch wagging her tail at him.
"Ok guys, leave the guy alone." I said pushing them away from the poor kid.
"Fine," said Eric walking off
"You're no fun." said Sam following him.
I looked at Brendon.
"Ok...I was expecting that." He said with a small smile.
"I'm sorry," I cringed, "I'm the youngest of five children...its kinda expected I guess."
"It's ok, but just for the record; they really wont quarter me right? That's illegal."
"Of course they won't, they just wanna scare you. Don’t listen to them. They don’t like it when guys come over."
"How often do these guys come over?"
"Not often Brendon, don’t worry." I said grabbing my jacket off the couch
"Ok then, let's go. This is gonna be fun." he opened the door and we walked out to the car.
Who knew Brendon Urie was such a gentleman?

We drove to Freemont St.
"You're taking me to the light show?" I asked
"Yeah, I've missed this. Plus it's not only a light show. It's also dinner. Come on."
We climbed out of the car and he dragged me into a hotel that was on Freemont.
"You're kidding right?" I asked as we went up to the reception.
"What? Whatever. Hey Mrs. Roberts...I was wondering if I could get the basket I dropped off earlier?"
"Of course Brendon," said the receptionist, "And who is this lovely lady?"
"Oh right sorry, Mrs. Roberts this is Ivy. Ivy this is Adam's mom."
Adam was one of Brendon's friends. I've probably only ever met him twice. They went to the same school together and would hang out once every few weeks well they would before the entire recording thing

"Nice to meet you," I said bowing my head slightly. I would've shaken her hand but Brendon had a nice grip on my right hand.
I don’t believe in shaking with my left hand.
"It's nice to meet you too sweetie. Now Brendon, just give me a second to go grab it and I'll give you the key to the r-" she was cut off by Brendon coughing loudly. I saw her wink at him as she left us.
"Adam's mom is really nice." He told me as his other hand ran through his hair nervously
I laughed and moved closer to him.
"So what have you go planned Urie?" I asked nudging him as best as I could.
"Not telling." Mrs. Roberts came back with a basket and a set of keys

"Thanks Mrs. Roberts," said Brendon letting go of my hand and taking the items off her.
"You're welcome Brendon; just remember to return the key when you're done alright?"
"I will, promise."
We said a quick goodbye to her and went into the elevator.

The doors opened and Brendon led me outside.
"And this Ivy, is your date" he said as he led me towards the edge of the building.
"You're going to wine me, dine me then throw me off the building aren’t you?" I asked
"Yes, that's it. Now hurry before it starts." He started dragging me towards the edge.

He set the basket on the ground and opened it up. He pulled a picnic blanket out and set on the ground before gesturing to me to sit down.
"So I did my research." He said looking down at me
"Research? Can I quiz you?"
"Yes. The first question has to be...what your favorite food is though."
"Well that's a pretty crap quiz. But I'll humor you. What's my favorite food?"
"Is it this?" he pulled out a small plastic take out tray of sushi
I smiled.
"Yeah...I love sushi!" I clapped at him like a four year old.
He laughed
"I told you."
"Ok next question. What does X equal to when Y is valued at 23.7 but the hypotenuse of a triangle is 54?"
"Umm...pass?"
"You can't pass."
"This quiz sucks!" he said sitting down next to me.
He pulled out a sandwich for himself and two bottles of ice tea.

We watched the lightshow and once that was done headed back downstairs.
We talked about everything.
We didn’t have anything in common. At all.

Then we drove to a park. And talked some more.
Then we played rock, paper, scissors for a bit.

"I had fun tonight Brendon," we were sitting on the swings in the park
"Same..."
"You're gonna kill me now aren’t you?"
He laughed
"Ha no of course not. But I am going to kiss you...geez that was lame."
It was my turn to laugh.
"Don’t worry. It makes you cute."
"Aww shucks thanks."
"Yeah it's just...too bad."
"Too bad what?"
"Too bad I don’t make it easy for a guy to kiss me on the first date." I flashed him a smile before running off.
I heard him give a loud groan as I ran off
"I'm gonna get you Ivy!" he shouted as he took after me
I laughed and ran faster

Ten minutes later Brendon had me cornered in a crawling tube. He was standing on top and I was inside. If I went right he followed and when I went left...he would go left.
Not that left would save me. Left led me to a wet slide.
Right led me to a ladder.

"I promise I'm not a bad kisser" he told me
"You have to come in here first." I told him
"Fine." He climbed off the tube and crawled in through the hole.
I was lying in the tube, my legs were sticking out of the side, and Brendon had to crawl in between my legs. If I didn’t like the kid...this would have been awkward.
"Hi," I said looking up at him.
I barely fit in here and Brendon is taller and longer than I am. He was sticking out more than I was. I bet if I was outside watching me and Brendon doing NOTHING in the tube I would have laughed.
"Hey," he leaned his head down towards me and touched his lips to mine.
And I know everyone says they felt sparks and whatnot when they had their first kiss with someone they truly liked and all that jazz.
But I really didn’t see fireworks when my eyes were closed.
I saw unicorns.
But I always see unicorns when I close my eyes.
For some reason the kiss lasted longer than a normal first kiss should last but I wasn’t complaining.
Brendon wasn’t lying when he said he's not a bad kisser.
He's far from a bad kisser.

Eventually he had to take me home.
"Thanks for tonight Brendon,"
"You had fun right?" he fiddled with his hands. He was a little nervous. It was cute
"Aww yeah it was fun. I liked the park bit."
"That's good...so I'll see you later today?"
"Yeah sure, just call me and we'll hang." He nodded
"Sweet, I guess this is good night then huh?"
"Yeah."
"Night Ivy,"
"Night Brendon," I kissed him on the cheek and went inside.


And that was the date.
And I can honestly say. It was great.
You know how when you're having so much fun you don’t want the night to end because you know when it ends that things wont be the same again? Like nothing will ever be like it was that night. I mean sure other nights come close but it will never be the same.
That’s what tonight was like in my opinion.
Tonight was fun, I will probably end up hanging out with those kids tomorrow once I finish my homework.

IvysaurrrrrrrrrrrrXOXedBrendonsaurrrrrrrrrrr

This is the chapter people have been waiting for...I guess. Ok there it goes. It will be posted on fandom tomorrow

Diary

2007-03-14T09:08:57Z

Sunday 17^th February 2005

Let me describe Ivy to you.
Have I done this?
Well I'm doing it again because it keeps me sane when I'm surrounded by my best friends. All males. All the time.
Where to start?
She's short, has long blackish brown hair. Yeah I know, it's either black or its brown...but her hair isn’t black OR brown its black and brown. When you look at it you think its black but up close its brown but when you look at it for too long its black again.
Not that I've bee THAT close to her or anything...ahem...yeah...
She's got this spot on her nose. It's like a tiny beauty spot...just a little brown dot on her nose. A heart shaped scar on her right cheek and her glasses always slip down. But she doesn’t care. She just pushes them up...that's the worst thing about glasses. The pushing them up when they slip thing. That annoyed me to no end.
Her legs are short and she takes small steps. I've calculated...that one of my steps is just over half of hers.
She likes to paint her nails. Doesn’t matter what color as long as it's bright or as long as it's black.

Her lips are full...they're not small but their not big. Their just right...I would kill to see what its like to kiss them.
She's cuddly soft but not big on the actual hugs.

She's sixteen but when you talk to her she talks about pirates and exploring caverns to find treasure. She wants to find a field full of teddy bears because "today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic"
Sailor moon is her favorite anime.
She dislikes Star Wars. And Star Trek and Stargate and X-files.
She likes everything that doesn’t involve outer space.
Her favorite pick up line is the one where you drop ice on the ground and step on it. Then you say "now that I've broken the ice"
She adores Fall Out Boy.
Good Charlotte won her over with their first album.
As with Simple Plan.
Rancid have just won her over.

Personally...That's not my taste but this is what attracts me to her.
We're different. Opposites in some ways.

I think the only thing we have in common is the need for attention.

When she's bored or nervous she pulls at her elbow. The skin not the actual elbow... she'll twist it till she's out of her predicament.

When she wants your attention without actually saying anything she'll look at you till you look at her. And when you do she grins at you with this big smile.

She likes red.
But hates blood.
But blood is only red when it's oxidized to its ok.

Right now her favorite song is "It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love" by Fall Out Boy.
I don’t know why but she likes it. She told me.
It was something like this
"*random letters* hi, I love that FOB song"
"What FOB song?"
""It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love" that one"
And that is about it.

To do list:
Recording.
More recording
Even more recording
And if I'm lucky...
Dinner
Sleep
Call Ivy
Tell her I miss her.

Brendon.

Thursday 27^th February 2005

Dear Diary.

Today marks three days till Brendon comes home. Yeah he promised me a date the day after. Though really I don’t know if he's really going to be up for it. I mean...I would want to relax after spending forever recording. I don’t think they're even done yet. I think they're just taking a small break...to get ideas.
Suck right?
Yeah whatevs. I want this date.
I wanna see if he's as good in bed as he claims.
Kidding.

Let's recap on my life.
This weekend I worked. But no visit from the Scooby gang because they were busy.
Sad? yes I was.
Sad? Yes I know
Monday night my mom's friend came over. She bought her son.
Her son who is SUPER GOOD in math.
But SUPER BAD in English.
The parentals thought it would be nice if they paired us up because
        A) I love English
        B) I suck at math
        C) He loves math
And D) He sucks at English

Ahh but see ten minutes into me trying to help him write an essay I threw his pens at him because he can't annunciate his words properly, which makes me want to ram a chopstick through my brain.
I don’t care if I fail math but I will not NOT talk to someone who cannot pronounce three properly. I'm sorry. Call me double standards for once in a while saying news instead of use but this guy pronounced every single friggen word like...he cant speak English.
He's been here five years.
I mean if you can do calculus like you breathe then you should be able to speak English.
His name is Tommy.
Seriously, there's only one reason Asian parents call their kids that. Well two if you include the joke one.
Reason one:
It's easy to pronounce.
Reason two:
If you say it right it sounds like a bowl of Ramen in Vietnamese.

No really. My mom goes to me "Ivy come meet Tommy" and I was like "ma I'm not hungry"
But you know in Vietnamese
Oh and this ramen kid was trying to teach me math in Vietnamese. I can hardly understand my parents most of the time. That’s how bad it is.

Ok enough rambling.
Nikki is coming over tomorrow after school to help me pick out some clothes.

I need to cut my nails, getting cd packets out of the drawers is hard when you have long nails. It hurts.
And I need to paint them.
Pulling cd packets out of drawers chips the paint like nobody's business.
Let me tell you.

My sister has been annoying me about Brendon.
I mean really. Who is she to tell me off about a boy that I like?
I caught her in bed with a guy.
It's called a lock. Goddamn it, learn to use it.
She's also the one whose husband is an ass and left her with a kid.
Who's bad is that?
Not mine.

So Adam is thinking of leaving. And now that the rush of holidays is over Crystel and me are gonna be working less and less. Mo is also thinking of leaving. But his is just a thought.
I usually work with Adam but every second Saturday I work with Mohit because of the weeks Adam gets to work.
So anyways, Adam told me he was thinking of leaving and I was browsing online for something.
I get a pop up ad about winning a trip to the Bahamas.
Adam decides to fill it in.
Hey who knows he might be going to the Bahamas for free.

Valentines Day came and went. Brendon sent me a cute little card. That didn’t arrive till yesterday. It's cute.
It's hand made too which is even cuter.
There's two little stick people on it. One's labeled Brendon and the other Ivy. They're even holding hands.
It just reads "Happy Valentine's day, I bet Cupid's diaper is so heavy on this day because he's too busy to take a dump. XOX Brendon."
Cute but silly.
Just like Brendon.

I'm going to bed. The kid tried to teach me about SOHCAHTOA whatever that means. Sounds like a bad toe disease.

Ivyshizzle

ivyshortcake @ 2007-03-14T03:08:00

2007-03-14T09:08:10Z

Saturday 11^th January 2005

Brendon and the guys went to Maryland to record their album. I bet their running around in their boxers with guitars and drumsticks singing that "you gotta fight for your right to party" song.
What?
Like you don’t do that at home…I do…when no ones here…but different songs.

Becca's in a mood. She misses Ryan. I thought that was cute…though I kinda miss Brendon too.
I went with them to the airport when they left. I got hugs. I like hugs. It was from Brendon. I like hugs from Brendon. He's a good hugger. That’s rare.

He sent me an email when he got there it went like this:

We've been here five hours. We've discovered this town inside out. Life in the trenches is hard. I wish you were here to keep me company. I want my mom to send me some cookies but she'd think I was weird and say no. Matt is an awesome guy. His dog…a little weird but not like your dog weird. Just weird in general. My culinary skills are limited to ramen and pizza. I blame Becca and my mother for not teaching me…or myself for not really wanting to learn.
How's life?
Is that Barry kid holding down the fort at Smoothie hut ok?
Give him grief Ivy. Give him grief.
Becca's online…you know what that means?
It means Ryan's threatening to lock in one of the studios with no food or water.
I'll call you when I get the chance.

Brendiebrat
p.s. Yes I wrote Brendiebrat don’t get used to it kid.
p.p.s. yes I stole your word. Get over it.

I gasped. He stole my words. I hate it when people steal my words.

WOAH! Mental images galore. So I closed my eyes and there's this image of me and Brendon making out. Like Making Out, not just making out.
Pretty hot.

I guess I like this boy more than I thought.
Now fuck him ask me out!

Ivy. Stressed. Like. A. Dog.

Monday 20th January 2005 

Disrespectlove: Holla at yo girl!
Convenienceking: lol hey Ivy
Disrespectlove: No, no, no the correct term is Holla Ivy
Convenienceking: lol ok. Holla Ivy
Disrespectlove: thank you. So how's it been?
Convenienceking: fun…tiring…boring at night
Disrespectlove: aww you should get a hooker
Convenienceking: I'd rather not…thanks
Disrespectlove: just a suggestion
Convenienceking: so how's everything
Disrespectlove: Oh you know…fine
Convenienceking: …nothing exciting?
Disrespectlove: well I did meet that guy…
Convenienceking: oh?
Disrespectlove: yeah…he came in the store and asked for my number
Convenienceking: did you give it to him?
Disrespectlove: we're not allowed to give out our numbers. No matter how much they ask or how hot they are.
Convenienceking: Oh well that’s good
Disrespectlove: So how's recording
Convenienceking: we've gone through this
Disrespectlove: no…*scrolls up* I asked how's it going. Not how's recording
Convenienceking: Recording is different to anything I've ever experienced, its surreal being in the studio with The Matt Squire. It's incredible. I wake up everyday and I still don’t believe it. I pinch myself to make it feel real.
Disrespectlove: aww well don’t pinch too hard. People might think you're being abused
Convenienceking: lol
Disrespectlove: you are aren’t you?
Convenienceking: well you know with Becca here…it's hard not to be
Disrespectlove: aww yeah…I think its cute how she couldn’t wait to see Ryan.
Convenienceking: …yeah
Disrespectlove: I miss you guys
Convenienceking: …I- we miss you too
Disrespectlove: aww you miss me?
Convenienceking: why wouldn’t I?
Disrespectlove: I don’t know…why would you?
Convenienceking: Because you're an awesome girl. You're funny and stuff
Disrespectlove: and stuff?
Convenienceking: and stuff
Disrespectlove: what does and stuff mean?
Convenienceking: umm…
Disrespectlove: Spill it Urie
Convenienceking: Fine…you're funny…and pretty…and cute
Disrespectlove: well aren’t you just the flattering one
Convenienceking: lol
Disrespectlove: aww yeah you're cute
Convenienceking: aww shucks
Disrespectlove: shit I better go Brendon. I've got school tomorrow and it's like 11.30
Convenienceking: aww ok then. Night Ivy
Disrespectlove: night Brendon I'll talk to you later
Convenienceking: I'll call you after school
Disrespectlove: alright

//End conversation//

Wednesday 1^st February 2005

This is it Brendon. It's now or never. Just take a deep breathe. Let it all out. Tell her how you feel…and pray…pray that she feels the same way as you do.

Brendon.

 Thursday 2^nd February 2005


"Hello?"
"Hey Ivy, it's me..."
"Yeah I figured Brendon, I have this miraculous thing called caller ID. It's fucking awesome."
"Someone's a little grumpy"
"Sorry... shitty day at work... I don’t mean to take it out on you."
"Its ok... so what happened to get you all blargh?"
"Customers are super grumpy for some reason. I kept getting bitched at for no reason. I'm sorry I can't find you cd; I'll call you when we do but sometimes they don’t understand and just call you names"
"Aww well it can't be as bad as my job"
"Brendon, sweetie your job right now is doing something you love."
"That doesn’t count... so um... "
"You ok? You're a little quiet so far... usually you're all 'oh my garsh ivy today we raped a mandolin and it played a wicked tune and then we shoved it in a paper shredder and it went meep"
"Ok what are you smoking?"
"Nothing."
"Right."
"Shit Brendon, I hate to cut this short but I gotta go. Nikki's here and she wants me to help her with her English assignment."
"Oh... ok then. I'll call you tomorrow?"
"Umm... I'll call you when I'm done. Promise."
"Alright. Night Ivy."
"Night Brendiebrat"


Later that night

Message sent:

 "Will you go out with me?" 

Message reply:
 "... are you serious?!" 

Message sent:
 "oh... you're turning me down aren’t you?" 

Message reply:
 "no... NO! I mean... no... I really like you Brendon... of course I'll go out with you" 

Message sent:
 "oh... wow... I was totally not expecting that answer..." 

Message reply:
 "and why would you not expect that? I've never met such a sweet guy like you" 

Message sent:

 "I'm gonna call you. It's easier" 

Message reply:
 "alright" </>


"So..."
"So when do I get to get romanced by the one and only Brendon Urie?"
"Romanced? Who uses that word anymore?"
"I do. Now answer me or I take back my answer"
"You can do that!"
"Brendon, don’t whine. It's unbecoming"
"Fine…Hmmm well I don’t get back till…later…do we really have to go on a date for the first date?"
"That’s up to you. I'm fine either way."
"I don’t know…I do know I want to kiss you right now though."
"Aww that would be fun, speaking of which I had this really weird mental image invasion the other day."
"Of?"
"Us. Kissing."
"Don’t."
"Don’t what?"
"Don’t start with that stuff. I kinda miss you a lot right now and I don’t really want to know what I'm missing out on by being here."
"Aww sorry. It'll be awesome fun when you get back though. No sweat."
"Ok when we get back. I'll take you on a real date. For now it's gonna have to be phone sex like dates minus the dirty talk and emails"
"What if I like dirty talk?"
"Uh…umm I don’t know…uh…awkward!"
"Ha ha I was kidding…maybe."
"Uh huh. I gotta go…Damnit! Today has been full of I'll call you later's but I need to go. They want me to track vocals"
"Aww ok then. I'll talk to you tomorrow Brendon. Who knows when you'll be done?"
"Alright. Night Ivy"
"Night Brendon" 

End conversation//

Friday 3^rd February 2005

He asked me out…he actually asked me out…I'm…shocked...wow so I'm going out with Brendon…I gotta call Nikki and tell her and then Shane and then the rest of the Scooby gang.
Though I think Shane already knows. I think he heard me screaming "Oh my fucking god he asked me out!"
I know my mom knows…and my dad…they ran in really quickly all panicked out and asked what was wrong…I just smiled, gave them a kiss on the cheek and ran out the house.

I ran over to Shane's house…screw knocking on doors and up to his room.


'Shane! Shane! He asked me out!"
"Did you hear that…fine you were right…yeah…I'll give you ten dollars when I see you."
He was on the phone.
"Uh what the fuck?"
"Yeah…I better go…she's looking at me funny. Yeah…get your ass over here before she calls you."
I looked at him skeptically
"What the hell Shane?" I jumped on his bed
"We had a pool going…"
"YOU HAD A POOL GOING?!"
"Oh…you probably wanted in huh?"
"Fuck you Cortese. Suck my non existent balls!" I threw his pillow at him. He laughed
"Well you know…I would let you but I think Bre-"
"Say it and you'll never fuck anyone again."
He raised his hands in defense
"Ok, no need to get in castrating mood now"
I had a stupid grin on my face. I know. But I was seriously so fucking happy. I mean I truly liked this guy, he made me laugh and always knew the right things to say to make my day brighter.
"You look like a retard"
"Oh it's nice to see you too Gopher."
"Supp sweetheart? I heard about you and the dork."
"He's not a dork."
"That’s not what your brothers are saying…"
"Since when did what my brothers say mean anything to you?"
"Well it doesn’t but"
"Shut up Gopher." I told him and sat down in the middle of Shane's bed.
"I've never seen you smile this much" Shane said throwing the pillow back at me
"Ooh she looooves him"
"Seriously Christopher. How old are you? Ten?"
"Ha she called you Christopher shame" Shane lay down next to me
We talked about random things for a few minutes when Nikki came running in. I swear to god she tackled me down on the bed. She flew on top of me. She so wants me.

"Oh my god I'm so happy!" she screamed
"I know OH EM GEE!" shouted Gopher acting all faux excited
"DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF!" Shouted Shane.
We looked at the guys strangely
"Shane, pay up" said Nikki holding her palm out he reluctantly reached for his wallet and pulled out ten dollars to hand her.
"Nikki, give me half." I said
"Uh, why?"
"Because you fuckers had a pool going on and I didn’t know about it. It's my life and I deserve half of that damn winning!"
"Fine…I'll break it up later"
For the next half hour me and Nikki rambled on about Brendon and Seb nonstop while the guys talked about…"chicks and tits"
yeah he said tits.


But I'm really happy…he actually asked me out.
Anyways Becca's been kinda down since Ryan went back to record. I thought it was sweet that he surprised her.
We went shopping today after school…mind you at a different mall than the one I work at because I would kill myself if I shopped at the same place I saw every week. Just kill me.

Urgh I gotta go mom wants me to help her set the table.

Monday 6^th February 2005

From: Brendon
To: Ivy
Subject: Blink songs make everyone swoon.

I am stuck with this guy here. He's emo. Like depressingly emo.
Becca left her bra here. We took pictures of us being dicks. I attached the picture in the email. Don’t make fun of me when you see it. We were bored. Mind you I must admit I look good in a bra. I don’t know how I feel about Ryan grabbing my 'boobs' though…I didn’t even know what was going on.
So how have you been? I'll probably call you later tonight after dinner if there's time.
Recordings been good. That’s all I'm saying. It's blowing me away. It'll probably do the same to you.
Oh Matt told me to tell you to go see Celine Dion play.
He also told me that you should kill me because I lied.
He's lying. You believe me right?
Not again…Becca's online. Ryan's being a Becca-whore.

-Brendon
p.s. Hit Becca, Ryan punched me.

From: Ivy
To: Brendon
Subject: I've been there before

Silly Brendon, actually me and my friends have been in the same position as you. We call it Halloween eve. It's just an excuse for the guys to wear girls' clothes and not feel homosexual. But it happens every year. This year…you should join in, the picture looks good…you're gonna be breaking hearts for sure.
Celine Dion? Ok EW and uh EWWW
Poor Ryan. If it helps Becca's just as emo.

HA! I replied before you called me. I deserve a dance. Dance Brendon dance. Ok or not.

I have homework. Remember homework Brendon? Yeah asymptotes and pergolas are all the rage.
Yeah they're the new black.
Lol the guy on TV said "Chris is tight"
I just laughed my ass off there.
I bet Chris is tight
EW

I really hate being tired. I get cranky…I've already thrown a teddy bear at my sister for annoying me. And a shoe at my dog. She dragged it off and is probably chewing on it as I type.

Its still early I think I'm gonna go take a nap before I have to go help with dinner.

Ivy
p.s. you know if I hit her, she'd hit me back

From: Brendon
To: Ivy
Subject: I suggest a tutor

Sweetie, its parabola not pergola OOH GO ME! I knew that. I feel smart.
Tracked bass a few minutes ago and uh yeah that’s about it really
Sorry this is late you're probably asleep, so if you're sleeping, sleep tight and if you just woke up good morning and I hope you had sweet dreams.
I bet you dreamed of me huh?
Kidding. Becca would've hit me for that.
We should be home soon.
Did I mention this album is going to blow your mind? It's already blown mine and we've only done a few songs.
I still don’t believe this is happening.
I better go.
We've got a big day tomorrow.

Brendon.
P.S. I still can't believe we're happening either.

Saturday 16^th February 2005

Convenienceking: Hey
Disrespectlove: morning
Convenienceking: shouldn’t you be at work?
Disrespectlove: …shouldn’t you be recording? OOH!
Convenienceking: that hurt…but Ryan's doing playing his part
Disrespectlove: fine, fine
Convenienceking: So yet again I ask. Shouldn’t you be at work?
Disrespectlove: I am…
Convenienceking: Adam let you online at work? The same Adam who wouldn’t let you stand behind the counter and read a magazine is letting you online? Is he there? Is he on drugs?
Disrespectlove: No…Adam is on his break
Convenienceking: its 11am. You guys have hardly been open
Disrespectlove: He's hung-over
Convenienceking: Ahh that explains it all. So how's it been?
Disrespectlove: Boring…when are you kids coming home?
Convenienceking: never. We like it here too much
Disrespectlove: aww that hurts. And here I was thinking you liked me
Convenienceking: I do. Really. I do
Disrespectlove: pssht liar
Convenienceking: back at you
Disrespectlove: sting
Convenienceking: like a bee
Disrespectlove: Freak
Convenienceking: like you… burn
Disrespectlove: That hurt…hurt right here *points to heart*
Convenienceking: want me to kiss it better?
Disrespectlove: …*nods*
Convenienceking: alright….*sends you a kiss*
Disrespectlove: ewwwwwwwww
Convenienceking: oh ha ha
Disrespectlove: So supp?
Convenienceking: not much. I was bored. I was gonna talk to one of the girls but I'm too lazy
Disrespectlove: aww it's so cute how you love your sisters
Convenienceking: well they are my sisters
Disrespectlove: yeah but I don’t talk to my siblings
Convenienceking: that’s because you live with them, plus mom's making them check up on me.
Disrespectlove: ahhh…that’s cute
Convenienceking: shut up
Disrespectlove: …
Convenienceking: …
Disrespectlove: …
Convenienceking: talk to me
Disrespectlove: oh no I'm shutting up
Convenienceking: There's a bag of jelly beans in the mail. Now talk
Disrespectlove: ok so I'm bored
Convenienceking: me too
Disrespectlove: I think that you should come home now
Convenienceking: missing me already?
Disrespectlove: well yeah...and I wanna go on this date that you promise me is going to blow my mind
Convenienceking: when have I promised you that?
Disrespectlove: Well I just figured that since you aren’t here
Convenienceking: I'm telling you now...it's probably not going to blow your mind but you'll remember it
Disrespectlove: hmmm if you say so
Convenienceking: it will
Disrespectlove: so when will you be back?
Convenienceking: march...
Disrespectlove: you're kidding right?
Convenienceking: early march
Disrespectlove: you're serious?!
Convenienceking: You've got that look on your face don’t you?
Disrespectlove: what look?
Convenienceking: That crazed look girls get when they're shocked
Disrespectlove: No because I don’t want customers judging me
Convenienceking: right. Don’t worry about it. It'll be fine. Time will FLY I promise
Disrespectlove: I'm just gonna say don’t make promises you can't keep
Convenienceking: aww it'll be fine. Promise.
Disrespectlove: alright then
Convenienceking: I miss you?
Disrespectlove: I miss you too. Crap Adam's back. I gotta run.
Convenienceking: ok
Disrespectlove: talk to you later Brendon
Convenienceking: I'll call you.

Disrespectlove has signed out//

DIARY

2007-03-14T08:59:03Z

Sunday 2^nd October 2004

Dear diary

today's mood: slightly hung over…smells like cigarette.
I love Sesame Street.
'Nuff said.
"Who is your favorite Sesame street character?"
"Snuffaluffagus"
"Who…"
"Christ…you know giant elephant thing?"
"Oh…that thing…pass me the beer."
"Gopher I want a piggy back ride?"
"Right now?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes, now get your drunken ass down so I can get on your back bitch…"
"You're not even drunk yet are you?"
"Not yet…"

Oh I love it when everyone else gets drunk before me.

So today's plans involved sleeping till Monday morning but something came up…You know when you're sleeping and its all comfy and your blankets and pillows feel all fluffy and warm? I love that feeling…
What I don’t love is people barging into my room at eight in the morning demanding me to wake up and go out with them for breakfast! And then when you don’t want to wake up…you get dragged out of bed till half your boobs are revealed…

"WAKE UP!"
"fuck off…" I mumbled
"ok!"
"Do I know you?" I said getting closer to my pillow.
"Ivy, are you drunk?"
"no…I was…I was also sleeping too…I hate you all."
Some grabbed my arm and pulled me till I fell off the bed.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"We're going out for breakfast." I grabbed my glasses off the side table. Yes I'm as blind a bat ok not really but it helps seeing the face of the people I'm going to kill.
"…Becca? How did you guys get in my house?"
"Your mom's downstairs." She shrugged
"MY MOM'S HOME?! SHIT!" all three of them looked at me strangely. Yeah that’s right three. Ryan and Brendon were here too. I rushed around my room and shoved all my dirty clothes under the bed and in my closet.
Sunday was mom's half day off. She didn’t have to go to the store till later in the day which means she was at home and was gonna bitch me out for my messy room.
"Ivy…hurry up we wanna eat please?"
"Five minutes." I grabbed some clothes off the floor and went into the bathroom to change.
"Ten bucks says those are dirty clothes Brendon," I heard Becca say to Brendon.

I changed quickly and applied my face. My face consists of just eyeliner and maybe some eye shadow if I'm feeling pretty.
"Ok done." I said grabbing some socks and pulling them on quickly along with my Vans.
'So Ivy…how clean are your clothes?" asked Ryan with a smirk
"For your information Mr. Ross, these are actually clean. I just don’t stick my clothes in my drawers ever…"
"Hand over ten bucks Becca," said Brendon holding his hand out.
"Nice to know you kids trust my hygiene…though granted I do smell like booze and stale cigarette…"
"You drink?" asked Brendon
"Mmhmm at least once a week with the kids." I shrugged and grabbed a coat, "Ok I'm ready to leave and you guys are so not taking me out for crappy drive thru breakfasts."

So we went out for breakfast and a word of advice. Never EVER go out to breakfast with Becca when you're hung-over…she made a lot of noise and I felt very woozy. Though now I suddenly crave pancakes again.
I still gotta finish off some geography homework and then I'm gonna sleep. Today I spent my hours with Becca and them. Seriously nice kids.

Mmmmm crackers by ivy

Wednesday 31^st October 2004

Diary I vant to suck your blood

this year I was an evil fairy. I had black glittery wings. Nikki was the good fairy with her pink wings. Seth went as his usual zombie. Shane went as the Grim Reaper, Monique was a mermaid, Gopher went as an egg and Chris went as that Chewbacca thing from Star Wars. Allan and Jackie have ceased to hang out with us. They have far more important things to do such as hang out with their new partners. Whatevs.

This year the party was like last year at Gopher's house. His parents let him have a bash every year and it's always the best place to go. But there was always one condition. The party was to start at 9 and from 7 till 8.30 was for the kids. His parents are big on having neighborhood parties where the kids could come and have fun…Gopher did have four little sisters so it made sense. Anyways the girls ranged from six to twelve. Every year Gopher's parents Christine and Michael turned the house into a haunted house and left the decorations up for the party afterwards. And every year us older kids would sit on the front porch. Those of us that didn’t have a mask would sit and chat to the other kids but those if us who did have a mask sat still and kids one come up to them to grab the candy from the bowl in front of the masked person. This year it was Chris and Shane. They were sitting on the steps and a group of kids came up to them. I told them to just grab some candy but don’t be too greedy. As soon as they reached their hand into the bowl either Chris or Shane would start screaming and the poor kids would run away screaming and crying. As mean as that is. Its always fun.

I asked Gopher why he went as an egg. And I mean a fried egg. All white around the outside and yellow in the middle.
This was his reply:
"Oh because you know. I'm all white on the outside but on the inside…I'm as yellow as you are."
I found that funny and offensive so I dunked his head in the bucket with the water and the apples.
Yeah he liked them apples.
I never liked candy corn. I never got how they could eat it. It was just corn syrup and sugar. Maybe the color because well I don’t like eating anything with three colors that isn’t minty and only found at Christmas time.
Sue me.

I haven’t drunk that much yet…I've consumed both mine and Shane's body weight in sugar and am about to puke it all out.
I told him I loved him and he told me:
"That’s just the sugar talking sweetie. You love jelly beans not Shane."
But I do love Shane. He's always there for me. So yes I love Shane.

I saw Alex today. I haven’t seen Alex since forever!
Alex lives on the other side of town and I always seem to miss the bus to his house. I see him like three times a month if I'm lucky.
Anyways Alex was here and he said that next time we're both free he would pick me up and we'd hang out at his place. Alex's mom has a crush on me…I kid. Alex doesn’t have many friends who are girls and those that he does have…he's slept with them…except me because he's like 18 and claims it would be too weird sleeping with me…in reality I don’t put up with his shit. He's used every clichéd line on every girl I've seen him with including "if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together"
Anyways so whenever I come over Alex's mom Diane gets all mom on me and asks me how I'm doing and when am I and her Alexi going to get married…someone should tell her I'm only 15.

I think that’s it. I'm gonna hide you back in your place whenever I'm at Gopher's house…in his closet in the box where he keeps his teddy bear Boris that he refuses to sleep with anymore but when ever I sleep over I take out.

ivy=boris=bestfriends

Thursday 28^th November 2004

Diary…Forgive me for I have sinned.

Ok I know it's been…a while since I last wrote in you…but I have en excuse…I misplaced you. See I had you with me Friday of that week but Brendon came over and asked me if I wanted to go hang out at Becca and Ryan's place and watch some movies with everyone else. I said yes and had you in my bag or so I though. Turns out I had you in my hand and dropped you down the side of the seat…you went under the chair of Brendon's mom's car and when she cleaned her car she found you. So please don’t hate me. Love me for I love you like no other.

So I've been getting closer to Brendon and them and He's a real nice kid. He's loud and boisterous all the time…even when Becca dragged me to his house to wake him up. He was a trooper and didn’t yell at me…he yelled at her instead. It went something along the lines of "what the hell is wrong with you?! I was sleeping! You are so rude…" and I tuned out.

But it's been good. Work is awesome. And with the Christmas shopping season starting we've been busier then ever. The store's already Christmas-ed out with tinsel and baubles everywhere. We've even made one of our cd stands into a tree. Adam got us all little Christmas items. Crystel got some antlers that sing and the rest of us got plain old Santa hats though Adam's one has a Santa instead of a pom-pom and it sings too. Yeah we're all a bunch of Christmas loving suckers at work.

So anyways yesterday I got dragged out of the bus line and forced into a car by Becca…yeah that’s right. I was kidnapped right after school! It was "Brendon needs cheering up" time or something. He looked fine though…ok a little sad but you know not much. It's like you know the sadness you get when you finish off a bag of Reese's pieces all by yourself? It was that one. But we cheered him up. I gave him a hug and we went to the park for the rest of the day. And now I'm busily trying to finish off my homework before I get in deep shit from my dad.

I also freaked out a little because you know when you write down all your hopes and fears and every single little minuscule detail of your life onto paper and you fear someone might read it? Like when I was younger, I passed a note to my friend Susan telling her of how I liked this boy in out class. It didn’t get to her and I freaked out. Turns out it went to my friend Casey instead and she just shoved it in her pocket. So I was safe. But yeah I was all "OMG did he read my diary? Did his mother read my diary?" because from what I've learnt from Becca, Grace Urie does not like any girls around Brendon at all and that she was super religious. Oh and that she wanted Becca and Brendon to get married as was prophesied when they were both born…weird right? Ok yeah maybe it was prophesied but that was the idea. Raise them together and they'll raise their young together or some shit that's coming out my pen.

So today Shane and them all came over and we hung out together. They bitched at me for ditching them but I swear its not my fault…I cant say no to people sometimes.
"You're too nice Ivy." – Seth
"Yeah but only when there are cute people involved…" – me
"You're a lesbian? Was Matt that bad in bed?" - Shane
"No you dickwad. She meant Brendon. Ivy has a crush on a certain boy." – Nikki
"Oooooh Ivy has a crush" – everyone
"No I don’t" – me
"Oh bitch please. I know a crush when I see one." – Nikki
"You might want to borrow my glasses then."
"Oh keep talking but you'll see. You'll end up going out with that Urie kid and you'll be all "oh Nikki you were so right about Brendon. And he has such a big wang.""
Ok so when she said wang we all just fell off the couch laughing so hard.
"Why didn’t you just say ding-a-ling?" asked Gopher
We ROFLOAF again
Oh how we amuse ourselves.
I don’t know about a full fledged crush but then again I never know till I'm in too deep to get out.
Maybe I do like Brendon.
Maybe I'm just mistaken.

You know what I hate? No really guess…ok I really hate it when people at Starbucks don’t make what you want. I ordered a mocha today and she didn’t give me my four sugars. She didn’t give me any and I asked for them and it was written on the side. I also hate it when people at Starbucks can't spell my name right. I mean it's not hard to spell it. There are three letters and even if you spell it wrong you're only one letter off. She spelt it Eeivee. I'm flabbergasted. Idiots.
I wish I was kidding too. I'm not.

I think that is all that has happened.

ivyneedstogetherbackcheckedjiggawhat?

Tuesday 1^st December 2004

Dear Santa for Christmas this year…I need a new diary.

Yeah you're running out of room and time. I gotta go and get a new one. I want a pretty one.
The eyeliner is weighing my eyes down. Either that or I'm super tired. I say both. Really. Let's see…Ummm today I…hung out with antsy kids…yeah Ryan was constantly looking at his livejournal…junkie…Nikki was antsy because her boyfriend Seb hadn’t called her…Seth was bitching about porn stars…antsy about the new porn he couldn’t wait to watch…seriously kids…calm down.
Every year me and the gang talk about what we want for Christmas this year. Last year I wanted new frames for my glasses. This year I asked my parents to get me a scooter…not the vesper ones either I mean the pushy ones. They're more fun and Shane has one so does Alex. We're gonna race them.
Because we're cool.
I got a new bra today…oooh I like it. I like it a lot.
It's hard to not like new bras because I'm a girl and my bras make me feel special. I'm gonna keep this short, because we're all hanging out today. I'm heading over to Nikki's and the guys are meeting us there. We're gonna watch movies and sleep on her couch. All five or so of us.

Ivy is a playa!

Friday 4^th December 2004

Dear diary

I spent the day listening to music. It never gets old. Ever. The only thing that does get old is the artist. Fo'reals. Brendon called. He asked if I wanted to go to the park and as tempting as it was to ditch my social studies homework and go hang out with a sweet fun boy…if my mom found our I didn’t do my homework she'd flip. Damn asian parents. I swear… So I had to turn him down and am learning about floods in Bangladesh. Oh what fun!

Seriously I am a dork. I gave up the chance to hang out with a boy who is not only funny but damn fucking fine…if Nikki knew about this she'd kick my ass so hard my boobs would move to a new place on my body.

Oh damn I love puberty. My boobs have grown from that flat chested 12 year old boy thing I had going on when I was 11. Let's just say I'm filling out my b cup nicely. And seriously we've lived in Vegas since I was 10 I'm now 15. That's five years. I've known Shane since I moved here. He lives next door to me. Anyways kid has no trouble at all grabbing my boobs. Gopher. God Gopher as well. They just grab our boobs instead of greeting us now, "Hey, we've been here since the beginning. We have our rights to grab those things." I've only known Nikki since I was 12. I was in her friend Lauren's class that year and we knew each other. Then when we went to high school and became closer. Now we roll tight bitches. Tight. Anyways Gopher, Shane and Allan have known us for the same time. I met Allan when I was 11. We were in the same class. I used to crush on him so badly and now it's hard to imagine not knowing him or dating him at all. All too weird. Anyways, Gopher or Christopher or Chrisgopher is friends with Sam. Technically the friend's little brother. Seth is Shane's best friend and it expands from there. S Shane and Gopher claim to have been there since the beginning, Seth is Nikki's friend, which means Nikki and Shane are friends by default, we're all friends by default. Anyways they claim they have the right to squeeze our boobs because of this. As if losers.

Shane got a girlfriend two weeks ago. I don’t like her. She doesn’t know how to share my Shane. That's right MY Shane, wanna fight about it? They boy has always been there for me. He blames himself for the loss of matt and how he's stopped hanging around us. See Shane and Matt used to be friends, they still are, just not as close as they used to be. My fault. It's always my fault. Shane is on team Ivy rocket he says. Where the Rockett came from he doesn’t know either. I don’t think anyone does. Ok I just realized my handwriting is really deformed. If I'm good till Christmas please send me home mom and dad. I want to visit my friends back in New Zealand before they forget who I am. I think mom and dad are taking a trip to Australia though, dad ha a close cousin there and mom has her two half brothers. Yeah, most of my six or seven aunts and uncles are mom's half siblings. She has two sisters though. One lives in Virginia and the other one back in the old country.

I finally bought Rancid's "and out come the wolves" MY GOD! I love that album. If you don’t love Rancid, I don’t love you.

There's more work this month. I may not have time to write, but here's to trying.

Ivyspiceforlife

Monday 6th December 2004

Diary

Kidnapped. Twice in 2 months. That's ridiculous. But it was for a good cause, not this prostate cancer kind of good cause. This good cause is the kind that unleashes a new kind of music to people's ears. It’s a revolutionary cause. Release the proletariat! Down with bourgeoisie! Ok I'm done with my Russian revolution thing. Partly done. Ok Stalin. Now I'm done.

So if none of this made sense allow me to state it in lame man's terms. Brendon, Becca, Ryan, Spencer and Brent showed up at my school today when I was going to catch my bus. I get yanked out of the line and thrown into a car filled with their girlfriends. Ok slow down. Becca, Brendon and Ryan stole me. I get shoved into the minivan head first inches away from Spencer's crotch!

World's most embarrassing moment #13 up there with the time my mom showed my principal my baby photos. And that time my doctor asked me if I had my period yet. Most definitely up there.

All this drabble and I haven’t got to the point yet. The reason I got Ivynapped was because the guys got signed! Yaya! That's right, after weeks of seeing Ryan constantly check his emails and after weeks of sending Pete Wentz some demos the fucker finally responded. About damn time if you asked me.
He's flying out to hear the guys as soon as he can.

"Weeeeeeeeeee! I'm excited for you kids" I squealed giving Brent, the person closest to me, a hug.
"we're excited too" he laughed
"No, but I mean really. You guys don’t suck-"
"But we're not good either?" teased Brendon, I glared at him
"Let me finish you, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. You guys don’t suck, you guys rock/own/pwn/whatever it is the kids are using today to mean awesome."
I heard Spencer sniggering to himself.
"What are you sniggering about Drummer boy?" I asked
"Nothing," He answered quickly before deciding that Haley's hands were far more important.
"Does this make a groupie?" asked Becca
"No. it makes you my supermarket and or porn star girlfriend," replied Ryan who got a nice whack on his arm as soon as he finished.
"Not funny!" cried Becca, Ryan gave a quick kiss
"I was kidding!"
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes, I love you."
"I love you too."
I couldn’t help but let out an Awww. They were so cute together. So very cute.
"What?" asked Brendon who must've been the only one to hear me. Freak. He was sitting across from me. Brent didn’t hear it and he's right next to me.
"Nothing. So what are we doing to celebrate? Sodas, smoothies, ibuprofen, tic-tacs?
"What?" asked Haley with a laugh
"It's all I have in my bag…some pills, some tic-tacs and a half empty bottle of diet coke"
"Half empty or half full?" asked Brendon
"Less than half," I said pulling the bottle out of my bag and taking a drink.
"Let's go watch a movie" said Brendon
"Guys…I gotta go to work," said Brendon. You know what I love? During my breaks, I visit Brendon and get a smoothie. Kid gets bored when he's there. And since I actually pay for my smoothies, I spend half my time changing my order so many times that Brendon tells me to fuck off and gives me my usually berrynana smoothie. I do it because I care. And because he looks adorable when he's angry. You know he wants to slam your head on the counter but cant because A) you would return the kind gesture by shoving his penis into the blender and B) because his manager is there. I like to keep people on their toes.
"Me too," I said
"Brendon, take her," demanded Becca
"Yeah Brendon take me. Take me now." I aid. Everyone laughed.
"What?" I asked before realizing what I had said, "Oh grow up. I don’t drive and Brendon does. It's only logical. I didn’t mean it like that!"
"Sure you didn’t," said Becca looking at Brendon. He glared at her.
"I'll give you a ride Ivy," said Brendon standing up.
"You guys are so immature. God grow up!"
I congratulated everyone one last time before me and Brendon walked to his mom's minivan.

"Want me to go to your place first so you can get changed?" asked Brendon as he pulled out of the parking lot outside of Ryan and Becca's apartment.
"Yes please. The uniform gets old after a while."
He nodded and drove towards my house.

Skip to us at the mall.

"Hey Ivy, just come to the Hut and I'll take you home k?"
"Nah its ok, I can call my dad. He won't mind."
"No, I really don’t mind just wait for me to finish cleaning up and I'll drive you."
"Are you sure? Because you live over there and I live like down the road."
"It'll be fine. Plus the malls open till late. Your parents are like old…and they like…wake up early and stuff…"
"You're so lame Brendon. I swear."
"So you'll take the ride?"
"Yeah, thanks Brendon."
"No problem."

Skip to closing time.

"Hey can I get a mango and berry smoothie?" I asked using a 'MAN' voice
"Sorry we're closed." Said Brendon wiping down the counter top behind him without looking up at me
"HEY! I SAID GIVE ME A MANGO AND BERRY SMOOTHIE!" I tried hard not to laugh
"LISTEN BUDDY I SAID WE'RE CLO- oh Ivy…sorry I thought you were some jerk customer"
"Awww no just me and my man voice," I sat down on one of the stools in front of the counter.
"I'll be done in a second. I just need to go put the fruit in the freezer and get rid of this lame uniform."
"It's cute. I like a man in uniform"
Brendon blushed. He took all the produces to the freezer and came back a few minutes later without his cheesy cap and apron on. It was one of the lamest uniforms I had ever seen. Purple and green. Really? Really.
"Come on let's ditch this place. I hate the mall when it closes." He said grabbing my hand and walking.
"It's really creepy…right? Like giant animals are gonna jump out…"
"And try to eat me?"
"No more like me. I've got more meat on my bones."
"Pfft sure."
"Hey you shut up Urie. You're like this big," I pinched my hands together to show how big he was, "and I'm like this big." I made the gap bigger
"More like this big." He made my hands pinch it self together to make the space smaller
"Well aren’t you sweet. Bye Louie," I said waiving to the security guard that waited at the door.
"Bye kids."

We went out to Brendon's car and he drove me home.

Skip to my house

"Thanks for the ride Brendon,"
"Better me giving you a ride then your dad right?"
"Yeah he gets a little cranky sometimes. So are you working the midnight shifts next…next week?" I asked
"Probably."
"Sweet. I'll see you then," I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and went inside.

Yeah that’s right. I made the first move. And don’t anyone forget that.
That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I don’t usually make the first moves. Ever.
Now excuse me while I go scream in my pillow for making the first move and not waiting around to see his reaction.

worldwideweb.Ivyisadeadduck.com/likewhoa.html

Tuesday 7^th December 2004

Did she really kiss me? Or was I dreaming?
Sometimes I imagine things that don’t really happen.
I wish this wasn’t one of those times.
Crap.
That means she likes me right? RIGHT?!
It's because I'm sexy…yeah I know I am.
Ok erase that…because Becca reads my journal. She's gonna make fun of me for that.
There's only one way she knows I like Ivy and that’s because she read it in here. And because I confessed when she told me she read it.
I need to go call Becca and ask her about this. She's good with girly problems. After all she is a girl.
A short one.
A really short one.
With a really tall boyfriend.
Which is really funny to make fun of.
But then she hits you.
And it hurts.
A lot.

Brendon.
P.S. Working at the Smoothie Hut makes me everyone's Bitch and they fucking know it. But I need this job.

Thursday 9^th December 2004

Christmas. Two weeks. What a load of…OMG! PRESENTSSSSSSSSS. I'm not in love with Christmas but I'm not in love with the holiday either. It does me nicely. But what's with eggnog? We never had eggnog back home. I still don’t get it. We (the Scooby gang and I) exchanged gifts yesterday. Most of us are spreading out for Christmas.

Nikki is going to Arizona, to see her dad, she's gonna be stuck there with her little brother. Poor kid. I got her an activity set with play-dough, some paint, some marbles and maybe a puzzle or two. Puzzles of naked people though.
Could you imagine the fun?
"Has anyone seen the penis?"
"Yeah it's next to the mouth piece."
"LOLZ"

Shane got a hug and a box of condoms. Annette (his ladyfriend) was putting out. And trust me, always wear a glove.

Seth got a teddy bear. Why? Because he's always had this one bear since he was little. A few months ago his little sister got her hands on it and ripped the poor bear's head off. Angie is a twisted kid let me tell you.

In keeping to the theme of Winner Ther Pooh's Gopher friend, I found my Gopher a kid's toy miners cap. With working torch! Yeah, so when he's traveling in "dark caverns" and "never ending abysses pf doom" (or pleasure eww). Whatever.

I have lovely friends. Shane got me socks
"They aren’t socks…there's no foot part. They're arm warmers…GOD IVY GET IT RIGHT!" and he slapped my head. Abusive fuck!
Nikki got me a beanie bear toy thing. It's cute. Much cute.
I'm actually at work now. And actually on my lunch break. I can't even eat my sandwich…ok my second sandwich. But its good. Chicken and avocado. I swear that sandwich filling makes me want to eat it all the time.

I was working when I got given my holiday cheer. Yeah Adam gave me a Santa hat to wear. Awesome.
The gang saw it and were like "oh Mrs. Claus"
Excuse me, but I am not old or married to a fat man. AND I am not surrounded by little kids with good hands…THE ELVES
You sick freaks…
I meant the bloody elves.

Christmas isn’t too big in my house. We have a tree, presents and dinner. Just the necessities. No full out Christmas lights or mistletoe shit. Just what is needed. Clean and simple. Okay and I dress the dog up with antlers and parade her around the neighborhood like a prized pig. Shut up, she is like a prized pig…she's fat…and fat…Ruby is just fat.

Brendon offered to take me home today. I really do hate working from 3 till 12 but hey the pays good and that’s all that matters. If I have money to feed my addictions then I'm not complaining.
It's sweet that he offered…its like that kiss thing never even happened.
I wish he would take notice of it though.
Whatever.
My breaks over.

Ivyworkshardforhermoney.

Saturday 11^th December 2004

Repress. Repress. Repress.
What dirty dreams?
Umm…hi…
Keep your cool. Breathe.
Everything will be ok.
It was a peck on the cheek.
She didn’t mean it.
It was FRIENDLY.
She was thanking you.
You just want to be her friend…oh who am I kidding?
I don’t want to be JUST her friend. I want to be more.
But I have to wait…I mean…I can't just rush into this right?
What if I screw up?
I'm not even going out with her yet and already she's got me thinking of screwing up.
Girls.
It's weird what some of them can do to you.
I really like this one though…she makes me nervous, scared and happy all at the same time.
Its not like the other crushes I had…Its something more. I just have to wait till the moment is just right though.
If I take action too early it's going to look like I'm desperate,
But if I act too late than she might get a boyfriend…that would suck.
Becca says she wouldn’t. And that I should just ask her out.
But I think it's too soon.
She knows I just got out of a relationship and I don’t want her to think that she's the rebound girl…because she wouldn’t be. She would just be the girl.
Why does this have to be so confusing?
To make matters worse…we're heading out to Maryland next month to record…so I wont see her for ages…and that she's gonna find another ride home after work…I know that’s stupid.
But I like driving her home.
She's fun to hang out with and we talk about stuff.

It's my day off today. Yeah that’s right. Saturday morning cartoons and frosted flakes for breakfast. Sitting on the couch in my boxers…mom wants me to get changed…I told her after Teen Titans…she doesn’t know it’s a marathon today. Yeah. That’s right.

For once, let me be a teenager woman.

Brendon

Sunday 26^th December 2004

Christmas was yesterday. Sorry I can't be stuffed relaying the present thing because the high has worn off. I got presents and hugs and pinches from my aunt on the cheek going "Oh aren’t you growing up nicely?"
Urgh. Over it. OVER IT.
Sorry. I'm in a bad mood today.
I'm working New Years Eve.
Fuckers.
Oh well…it's only till 10pm…I still get two hours right?
I might just set up camp in the back room and sleep away the New Year.
It'll be fine.
Shit…I'm gonna be late…I better run.

Ivylateforworkagain

Monday 27^th December 2004

Can you believe my mother? Really Grace, yeah that's right I called her Grace.
Do you know what she did?
For the past fucking week I've been packing my shit and moving it in to Ryan and Becca's house. Why?
My mother kicked me out. MY MOTHER

I told her we got signed. And she was all "Oh that’s lovely Brendon" and then I told her I wasn’t going to college and she was all "Get out of my house. No son of mine is not going to college. As long as you live under MY roof you will obey by MY rules"
So I got my boxes. I packed my shit. And I put them in the car and moved in with my best friend Becca. And Ryan. Yeah I moved in with them since there was no where else to really go. At least till I can find my own place.
Jesus…that Grace is someone.

Brendon.

Saturday 2^nd January 2005

It’s a new year. A new lease on life. A new beginning. Unlike Ivy I didn’t have to work so I went to annoy her for once. She threatened to throw cds at me…then she got in trouble from her manager. Then I had to sit in the swivel chair for five minutes…ok I didn’t really have to but Ivy looked serious.
I wanted to retell a dream I had the other night.
It's a little R18.
Maybe I won't retell it.
Let's just say there was a lot of heavy petting, touching and kissing and then some.
Yeah.
Dirty dreams.

Anyways I learnt in two weeks we're heading to Maryland to start recording. Fucking Matt Squire! Man I'm excited!

And then I remember that…I'm flying across the country to live the American dream…which means…I'm not going to be here and I won't get to see Ivy everyday like I have been for the past few weeks.

Shut up…don’t judge me.

She was the only one working yesterday…I didn’t tell Becca but I went and hung out with her till closing time...I found one of Sara's portable TV sets and we watched some of the DVDs that are in the store in the back room.
Yeah we busted down some cardboard boxes and made a nice comfy makeshift couch and watched it to count in the New Year…
And you're probably all wondering if I kissed her or not. I mean who doesn’t kiss someone on New Year's when the ball drops?
The answer is simple…I am proud to say…I kissed her. Yeah that's right. I kissed her…and as much as I wanted to push her down on the box of cardboard and just make out with her. I think she would've freaked out. A little. A lot.

I think she fell asleep somewhere between Josie and the Pussycats and Sixteen Candles. I looked down and she was leaning up against me. She looks really cute when she sleeps.
I couldn’t help but give her a kiss on the head before joining her in sleepland.

Woke up today with the meanest crook in my neck. I guess sleeping in a sitting position wasn’t meant to be comfortable.
Ivy's manager opened the store and woke us up…he couldn’t but laugh.
Yeah she got the day off today. I think she spent it sleeping. I haven’t seen her yet.
She's probably hanging out with her friends…or working…either or.
Aside from the being booted from my bedroom thing I think this has been a good year.
And it's only going to get better.

Brendon

Wednesday 7^th January 2005

Dearest you,

I was watching Tangerine Bear…you know the Christmas movie about the bear with the upside down smile when the door bell went off. It was Brendon.
"Hey…"
"Brendon, what are you doing here?" I asked moving out of the way so he could come inside. We went back into the living room and sat down on the couch.
"I was bored at home…thought I'd give you a visit…and tell you we're... are you watching a Christmas movie?"
I blushed.
"Yes…don’t judge me kid. I like this movie and I missed it on Christmas."
"Aww that’s kinda cute…even though it's like two weeks after Christmas." I patted the seat next to me
"Sit. Watch. Enjoy. Smile at the little bear"
Brendon sat down next to me.
"This better be good."
"It is…so what did you come here for?"
"Oh right, we're heading to Maryland to record on Thursday."
"Aww really? So I won't get to see you for ages."
"Yeah…"
"I'm gonna miss you Brendiebrat"
"Brendiebrat? Who you calling a brat?"
"Shut up! The point is. I'm gonna miss you…it's gonna be weird at the mall."
"You'll do fine. It's not like we won't talk."
"Yeah…but it won't be the same…"
"It'll be fine"
"If you say so…ok, watch the movie like a good little boy." I moved closer towards him and leaned my head against his shoulders. He stiffened up a little but then put his arm around me.
I can honestly say the only thought going through my head was "why the hell won't he ask me out?"
Call me old fashion but I like it when the guy asks the girl out. It personally shows me that he likes me and that he's not going to say yes if I ask him because he pities me. Maybe I'm the only girl out there who likes this. Maybe I'm not. It doesn’t make me weird so stop fucking judging me!
Could I be anymore stressed by this boy?

Ivy…is hearting a boy name Brendon right now.

Diary

2007-02-13T06:30:24Z

Friday, August 23rd, 2004
Dear diary,

Today was a fairly average day. Went to school, came home, got changed quickly and went to work. I hate sounding like every other teenager in the world but seriously? School fucking sucked. Why the hell did I take Japanese for another year for? I mean...I don't need it. I hate it. And what is with the goddamn particles?!
Matt is seriously being the biggest ass face I've ever known. I'm sorry we broke but do you really need to remind me everyday that we broke up? I moved on as well as I could have. You'd think he would too. Obviously not.
Tip number one: Nasty break ups should stay in the bedroom. Never out.
But let's not go there till much later. Right now let's talk about something quick eh?
I got my tickets today Panic! At the disco, September 17th. I'm gamed.
It should be good. Nikki's going so we're gonna go line up together. Sleep a little in the line and stick cameras down our pants like at the Simple Plan show. Good times. Good music.

Work was the same but with a twist of added drama. One of the guys from the other stores came in today. You do not want to piss this kid off. He's the manager of both stores. Someone had stuck the tip jar out again. It's against 'company policy' to allow a store to have a tip jar. Especially since all we do is sell cds and DVDs.
Anyways so Gideon threw a hissy and took the jar.
Crystel, Mohit and I were just standing there. Shocked.
So yeah. Other then that, I had the usual visit from Shane and the gang, they popped in to say hi and to mess with me before going to drag their girlfriends to try on lingerie. Perves. But those are my friends for you. The boys are perves and the girls are just as bad. Nikki shows up in store every Saturday and we 'assist' the guys that come in store. I even lend her one of the name-tags. Which means she's coming in tomorrow. Let's hope Mo' doesn't get pissed at us for messing around. I mean I am always helping him buy gifts for his girlfriend.

-Ivysaurus needs to sleep.

Sunday 1^st September 2004
Mr Diarysaur

Today is the first of the month. Can't say it's much different but for some reason it involved far less pinches and kicks. White Rabbit.
The dog is barking. Does she ever shut up? She probably wants in my room. She always wants in my room.
Tonight is the last night of sleep over night. Everyone is at my house and when we wake up tomorrow we all go to school together. It's just us girls though. I cannot wait till I can burn my uniform and have a sacrificial ceremony. Seth stole my eyeliner today...I'm not going to say what happened to him but lets just say...he walks with a slight limp now.
Hmmm I never noticed but Jackie snores. Maybe if I shove her a little *shove*
Note to self: Do not shove people. They fall off beds. They fall off beds and hit you really hard.
At least I'm not Captain Bruiseface *coughNikkicough*
Her and Seb seem to be going ok. Still haven't met the fucker but he makes her happy.
Turns out everyone got tickets to this little show that's happening in a few days.
How a few local boys are making a name for themselves, see it could happen to anyone. Maybe even 'No' Ben's band...ok yeah that's the dumbest name for a band but here's how it came about.
Del Sol High's annual talent show. For the students not the parents.
Stickland, resident PE teacher/eye candy.
"You guys got a name?"
James:
"No"
"Kids, I want you to meet No!"
Lame story but their not bad. Ben is a jackass but he's awesome to mess with.
There's this weird crick in my neck. I slept on Jackie's foot...well more like her foot slept on me. Sock marks from hell why would you wear socks with padded little print thingies on the bottom? Insane in the Membrane.

I didn't work yesterday and do you know what that means? Means the entire gang, all nine of us spent the day at the park. Seth, Shane, Jackie, Nikki, Monique, Gopher, Chris, Allan and me all at the park. Yes I hang out with a lot of guys, but can you really blame me? I was raised with two brothers (and two sisters but that's beyond the point) Anyways we took over the jungle gym and all hung upside down till we all fell flat on our asses. There was a fair in town and we went to that as well. The guys are really annoying let me tell you. Here's what happened. The sleep over starts on Friday. We reconvene at my house Saturday night after doing what business we had to like work and hang out all Sunday. So we're sleeping in since none of us had to work. The guys come barging into my room and grab us. In our pajamas and take us out to breakfast...I mean its all fun and games but I don't need all of Vegas to see me in my froggy pajama pants. At least I was wearing a bra is all I'm saying.
So they drag us to breakfast and take us back home. We change and hang out. Gopher is the oldest out of all of us. At 17 he managed to score us some alcohol from his brother's stash. We got drunk and we somehow ended up at the park and when I woke up there was a cop standing over us...whoa our bad. But they let us off since we were sober, no one was throwing up (just yet) and we didn't really smell of alcohol...little did they know that the homeless like to steal your alcohol when you're passed out. I was real comfy too, squished underneath the kiddies' playhouse between Nikki's boobs and Shane's chest, comfiest spot ever.
Ok wait back to the fair. Seth one me a dinosaur toy everyone knows how much I love dinosaurs and he got me one. Sure it cost him like five dollars but it was worth it. Best present ever and considering he forgot my birthday this year...it made up for it.
I love being the youngest in the group sometimes.

-Dinorawwrs are Dinowhores
Ivy

Friday 17^th September 2004

Diary...it feels like a woman

The show was tonight. It was different to say the least. The guys on stage looked so nervous it was cute. The lead singer Brendon, his voice cracked a few times but I'm blaming that on nerves because I'm pretty sure his balls have dropped.
The best part of the show was when I met Becca, their merch girl, I was talking to her and she asked me if I wanted to hang out back stage. Nikki had to leave. She had work the next day so I said of course I would love to hang out with the band. It's not often that you get to meet bands in Vegas. I mean what bands come out of Vegas? Except The Killers and their older than me.
So I met the boys and found out Becca and Ryan are much in love with each other and that Becca is also Brendon's best friend ever. They are cute together though. She's short and he's not very short...shut up...I'm tired. Anyways I thought it was bad for me being 5'2 and having to look up all the time. But Becca's shorter than me at 5 feet and well Ryan's what... 9/10 inches taller than her?
Brendon was cracking jokes left right and centre. Some funny, some not so funny.
Kid is cute though.
Spencer was with his girlfriend Haley and they're both very sweet kids. Another cute couple.
Brent was with his girlfriend and they were both very quiet. Very kept to themselves.
It's amazing how young they are but how good they sound, they're only a few years older then me and damn. Really.
We hung out till they had to leave.
I traded phone numbers with Becca because face it. She's an awesome chick to talk to and because she made me laugh.
Laughing is what cures the world.
Laughing is what makes me smile.
Smiling is awesome.
Told her we should keep in touch and we went our separate ways.

I was walking to the bus stop because well...driving is overrated and I can't drive when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Ivy, wait up!" I turned around and saw Brendon jogging up to me.
"Hey Brendon, what's up?"
"Not much, I was just wondering if you wanted to come watch us practice tomorrow? The other girls will be there so it should be fun..."
he looked down at his feet.
"Awww sure...but only to put you out of your misery kid."
"Who are you calling kid Missy? I'm older than you?"
"Physically...not mentally." I joked
"You need a ride home? It's like 2am and you're at a bus stop. Alone. In Vegas. That's just asking for some guys to ask you how much it is for an hour if pleasure."
"So you know then?"
"Yeah...it happened once..."
I laughed
"ok yeah I could use a ride."
"Sweet, come on before the leave without us."

so that's how it happened. And that's how basically tomorrow I'm hanging out with Panic! At the disco.

Ivy got pinched by Nikki at the Panic! At the disco show.
Why Ivy will never know.

Thursday 23^rd September 2004

Foxtrotremedy: So...
Convenienceking: what?
Foxtrotremedy: You know what Brendon
Convenienceking: I do?
Foxtrotremedy: You like her don't you?
Convenienceking: I don't know what you're on about...
Foxtrotremedy: like hell you don't. Ivy you like Ivy. I saw you. I've known you all my life. I know you. And I know when you like a person.
Convenienceking: She's a nice kid
Foxtrotremedy: Nice is how you talk about your mother
Convenienceking: She's a good listener?
Foxtrotremedy: Only because your big mouth keeps talking and not letting her talk
Convenienceking: Stop being mean, Becca!
Foxtrotremedy: I'm not...
Convenienceking: yes you are...Don't make me threaten Ryan
Foxtrotremedy: Oh yeah because you could kick Ryan's ass
Convenienceking: I could
Foxtrotremedy: You'd have to get through me first
Foxtrotremedy: and we both know you can't so don't even try it
Convenienceking: Fine...what do you want?
Foxtrotremedy: for you to admit you like Ivy
Convenienceking: I have a girlfriend
Foxtrotremedy: She is not a girlfriend.
Convenienceking: yes she is...I like her
Foxtrotremedy: as much as you like an STD. Oh look who's online!

Disrespectlove has been added to the conversation

Foxtrotremedy: IVY!
Disrespectlove: BECCA!
Foxtrotremedy: BRENDON!
Convenienceking: WHAT?!
Disrespectlove: BRENDON!
Foxtrotremedy: Ok stop all this caps lock is making my eyes hurt.
Disrespectlove: lol ok fine.
Foxtrotremedy: Ivy...what you doing?
Disrespectlove: getting changed
Foxtrotremedy: So you're naked?
Disrespectlove: partially...give me five minutes
Convenienceking: That's kinda hot
Foxtrotremedy: ADMIT IT URIE
Convenienceking: Admit what? You are so delusional Becky
Foxtrotremedy: When I see you I'm gonna hit you
Disrespectlove: kids, calm down.
Foxtrotremedy: Awww this means you're dressed.
Disrespectlove: Yes...because it's cold in my room.
Convenienceking: I bet it is
Foxtrotremedy: admit it Brendon
Disrespectlove: Admit what?
Convenienceking: Nothing. Becca's being Becca
Disrespectlove: ok...you kids are weird
Foxtrotremedy: Only because someone isn't willing to admit something
Convenienceking: I have a girlfriend
Disrespectlove: REALLY?! OMG so do I! Her name's Nikki. She's my bitch. We roll tight yo.
Convenienceking: And we're the weird ones?
Foxtrotremedy: you're just jealous
Convenienceking: ok I'm leaving now. Have a nice night ladies.
Disrespectlove: Bye Brendon.
Foxtrotremedy: bye dickwad. I'll make you admit it. And you know it
Convenienceking: Uh huh. Bye Ivy, Becca I'll see you tonight.

Convenienceking has signed out.

Foxtrotremedy: Hey Ivy...
Disrespectlove: mmmm?
Foxtrotremedy: You don't have a boyfriend right?
Disrespectlove: No...I have a girlfriend...didn't I just say that?
Foxtrotremedy: You're serious?
Disrespectlove: no. I'm kidding. Why?
Foxtrotremedy: Oh no reason. Anyways we're all going out tonight. Wanna come with? We're going out for dinner
Disrespectlove: Can't...I've got work and I've got homework
Foxtrotremedy: Well...you just suck
Disrespectlove: Sure that's not you?

Foxtrotremedy: I don't know what you're talking about...Ryan's pulling on my arm...Obviously the kid wants to get laid and who am I to prevent him from having what he wants?
Disrespectlove: Dirty perves, night Becca
Foxtrotremedy: Night Ivy. We'll visit you if we're in the area.
Disrespectlove: Its Vegas, of course you're in the area.

Friday 24^th September 2004

Whatever, Becca doesn’t know what she's on about. She needs to stop smoking whatever it is she is smoking. She is wrong. WRONG. I have a girlfriend. Audrey isn’t as bad as Becca makes her out to be.
She's fun to be with…

Brendon.

Saturday 25^th September 2004

Dear D to the I to the A RY Rizzle

...I'm turning gangsturr bitches. Ok maybe not. School, what can I say about school? Other than listen to my favorite song about my worst subject "I'm turning Japanese." Oh come on you know the song "I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so...turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese blah blah blah blahblah!
Whatevs.
English assignment to do and its due next week.
Being the person I am. I won't start till then.
You know who I love? Something Corporate.
That being said...I'm gonna beg someone to buy me North because...I'm poor and spent my pay check on jelly beans.
Key to Ivy's heart. Tip #1. When in doubt buy a bag of Mr. Jelly Jelly-beans. These work wonders even though they go directly to her ass or out her ass.
Honest and sickening.
We were talking about tattoos today at lunch, hanging out in art room as we do, talking about needles stabbing at our body. Nikki wants her giant phoenix on her back. I told her have fun getting that retouched. I was slapped for wanting a 'tramp stamp' so that got me out of the mood. When our 18^th comes around we're all going to go to the parlor and get one done each. Mom threatened me with this. "If you get a tattoo, when you go to sleep, I will come in and cut it off"
I'm still getting one...but by then I'll be out of the house and she can't catch me! (I'm the gingerbread man!)
Hot damn I feel like a gingerbread man...I'll get dad to bring me one home.
The best thing about getting a job was that my parents stopped pestering me about going to work for them. My parents own a bakery and everyone thinks it's so glamorous. It's not. It's waking up at 4.00am everyday to drive to a place that's half an hour away and making sandwiches and shit for people who come in at 6.00am on the dot everyday to get food from you. They're ingrates who should choke on a piece of pie. Sorry. I hate serving food customers. They are SO picky. Yes that does have mayo in it. It's a chicken and MAYO sandwich. No, the egg salad sandwich has no egg in it. It's so much easier just getting cds for people. Much easier.
//end tangent//

Supp Saturday night? Work is done for the weekend and now…now I head over to Chris' house for his fortnightly party and we're good. We'll have a few drinks, sing a few drunken ballads, make some new friends and find people generally making fools of themselves by stripping on tables.
Note: This has not happened to me. It has only happened to Jackie.

I'm kinda hungry…I'm gonna make Shane take me to McD's before we head over to Chris'… the kid never has any food in his house…And we all know how Gopher gets when he's on drugs…yeah bring your own supplies.

Christmas is in four months. Mom wants to spend it in Norfolk…with her sister. Have I mentioned I hate my mother's side of the family? Really I do. With ease. Their all gold diggers. Trust me.

They come from the old country and in this case the old country being communist Vietnam.
Which means they live in shit stacks.

They have no income except for their little fields of rice.
I mean don’t get me wrong. I'm not hating on my people but my mom's family are…well not…independent. That’s all I'm saying.
You know it's bad when your step-grandmother asks you to give her your glasses when you get new ones.
(I told her to go fuck herself. Poor kids in Africa will get them before her. When I told Nikki this she laughed)

I need to get changed. Chris' parties often involve everyone at Del Sol. This means if you pass out drunk in the living room…people will feel you up before Seth or Shane can save your ass.
Note: this has happened to me. It wasn’t very nice.
Note to the girl doing it: How you doin?
Note to the boy watching: perve you aren’t ever gonna get laid that way.

Supp skinny jeans and my Rancid top?
We're best friends me and my Rancid top.
I wear it all the time. Word.
Note to my mother: I need new shoes. And a new blazer that doesn’t smell of stale cigarette smoke.
Note to Shane: Don’t you ever wear my blazer and light up again. There is a cigarette burn in it.

- Note to Ivy: Signing out. Let's boogie.

Monday 26^th September 2004

Diary you are my savior

Ryan called me up before and asked me to come to Becca's birthday party. It's in three days I'm sure I can get off work…its like Thursday right? I'll just work Friday night. I just need to figure out what to get her because really who shows up at a birthday party empty handed? Other than cheapskates?
Ryan said she likes Carebears and anything with faeries on them…still I've always sucked at giving gifts. I might get her a Carebear or something. My head hurts.
Ratios and A + B = CYX means Ivy's brain is dead.
Plain form + Te form + stem form = Ivy's brain. Mush.
And it's only Monday. I've got four more days to go.

So Becca's birthday…This is gonna be a little weird right? I mean…I barely know the girl…at all…and I'm invited to her birthday?
"She likes you. It'll be fine. She'll be glad you're there."
Sure Ryan. I believe you. Believe you as much as I believe in SNATA! SANTA!
I meant Santa not Snata…what the hells a Snata? Sounds horrible.
SNATA!
Bless you.

I started on my English assignment. Yeah I glued down the letter A…we're supposed to make a poster for one of the poems we learnt it class. I'm doing one about a girl whose grandmother died and the entire funeral looks plastic and she wants to scream that that's not what the old lady was about but decides against it. Regret. Regret. Regret. The end.
Gopher, Allan, Nikki and Shane are coming over in an hour. We're tutoring Nikki and I in algebra…I don’t get it. Allan is just here to talk to my brothers about cars.

Have I mentioned my family?
I have two parents. My mom and my dad. Apparently I'm 'adopted' liars!
I have two brothers and two sisters.
Eric and Sam are my brothers and Michelle and Kim are my sisters. Kim is the oldest followed by Eric, Michelle, and Sam then me. Kim has a failed marriage and I have a niece. Who looks just like me when I was her age…so obviously I'm not adopted.

I updated my myspace. You know what scares me about myspace? The counter thing that tells you how many people read your blogs. That creeps me out so I've decided to stop blogging and start writing in my journal that I haven’t written in since I was 12…you wanna know what the last entry says?
It says:
 I love Daniel Fleish…I cant spell his name but I love that boy. And one day…He'll say he loves me too. 
Yeah that's right. I used to be in love with trumpetboy. TRUMPETBOY!
God I was young and stupid. Daniel had nothing common with me. Still doesn’t.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever come out of this bubble I call my imagination. I tend to live in the dream world often.

"Ivy when you grow up what do you want to be?"
"Home."
"We're in your living room."
"Vegas doesn’t feel just like home yet. It's missing something still…You know that feeling you get when you have something then you lose it and you realize that that’s the thing that has made everything you know what it is?"
"Uh…I think I know what you mean…but I'm kinda confused."
*insert sigh*
"Matt made Vegas feel like home. Then it all ended and now Vegas don't feel like home. Vegas feel far from home."
"Dude…that's because your old house was in New Zealand…I think…that counts as being far from home."
Sometimes Seth is too logical.
"No I meant the feeling not literally you dick"
"Oh ok…so you're saying that you want to be loved because that's what Matt did…before the entire you know thing we don’t talk about"
"Maybe."
"I love you Ivy,"
"I love you too Seth."
"Wanna go get a shake?"

Sometimes Seth is a dork. Sometimes he knows exactly how to cheer you up after a hard day.
And sometimes he gives the best hugs that make you realize what you have right now is the best thing ever created.

But it doesn’t hurt to have someone to make you feel wanted and needed. Someone who wants to hold you hand and give you kisses. I miss that.

-SuppIvymissingbeingloved?

Friday 30^th September 2004

…Diary I am not in my bed…

I woke up this morning…on the couch in Becca and Ryan's apartment. Oh yeah they live together. I was squished between the couch and Brendon and his girlfriend Audrey.
She's not very nice…I mean it could be because we don’t know each other but she wasn’t very nice to me.
The birthday was great. I met a lot of people. There was no alcohol so at least I wasn’t hung over. Becca's a recovering alcoholic so yeah.
I raided their fridge and stole a yogurt. Hope they don’t mind…I wish someone would've woke me up and told me to go home though. But let's just tell mom that I went to school ok? And I'll forge a note saying I was sick.
Oh and I stole a pen because face, if I have a bag most likely there will be my diary and something worth writing about.

I ended up getting Becca a Care bear…doesn’t it really matter which one I got her? I really don’t remember…it is pink?

I just realized I'm missing a shoe…what's up with that? I better go look for it. Let's check the voice mail…
I have three new messages.

From Adam:
"You're working tonight Ivy, It'll be you and Mo and you and me tomorrow."

Eww work…ok not really. I love work.

From Seth:
"Angela Densen is naked on Chris' couch. We drew penises all over her!"

No fair! I want to draw penises over her!

From Matt:
"You've got one of my hoodies. I want it back. Look for it. I'll pick it up tomorrow."

Ass, you know we used to be friends? Yeah really close friends. And then we dated. Bad idea. Very bad idea. It lasted a good…year…year and a half maybe? I don’t remember. Here's to trying to not remember. We were happy. Extremely happy but things change. People change. Life altering changes occur and people run.
Plus it started going down hill when he became the clingy demanding kind of guy.
My brother's constantly threw him out of the house every few nights. He slept over a lot. My parents didn’t mind him sleeping over…and if they new of the stuff we did I'm sure they would.

On the search for my shoe now. I'll be back.


"Shoe…shoe…come out…shoe?" I lifted up pillows and called out softly to my checkered Vans. Don’t judge me. I love these shoes. It's all I wear.
"Are you talking to me?" I looked up, Audrey was talking to me.
"No, my shoe…did I wake you?"
"Yeah a little."
"Sorry." I spotted my shoe sticking out from underneath the couch and pulled it on. I scooted out of that living room as fast as I could.


Ok so maybe she's not that mean to me…but if you had seen that look she gave to me…yeah.
I've decided to go sit out in the hallway and write. People are waking up…I think everyone fell asleep after they fell from their sugar high. So…It's nearly the end of September…joy.
I'm still tired and its like 11am…Seth is probably mad because there's a pop quiz in history and he can't copy from me. Japanese is probably still boring.

Hmmm…I really have nothing to do today. God I'm a loser. Fuck it. I'm gonna go write a note to Becca and them. And head home. I need more sleep and I also need to get some food in me. And…Becca has a really fat cat…that is all I'm saying. When I was in the kitchenette thing place it was rubbing against my leg and my leg was getting pushed away. Big pussy…ha!

-Hurr Ivybackpain.

I'll post more later. I think this is enough for now.

Writing LJ

2007-02-13T06:23:26Z

Hi kids. Here's where I'll be posting Stories, Poetry and the such.
I'll post a new entry in a few minutes with the entire Diary chapters in it.